Rejecting another human being simply because they are human, has become a collective neurosis. People ask, “When will my soul mate get here?” But praying for the right person is useless if we’re not ready to receive him. Our soul mates are human beings, just like we are, going through the normal processes of growth. No one is ever “finished.” The top of one mountain is always the bottom of another, and even if someone meets us when we feel “on top” of things, the chances are good that very soon we’ll be going through something that challenges us. It is our commitment to growth that makes this inevitable. But the ego doesn’t like the look of people when they’re “going through things. It’s unattractive.
As in every other area, the problem in relationships is RARELY that we haven’t had wonderful opportunities or met wonderful people. The problem is, we haven’t known how to take the greatest advantage of the opportunities we’ve had. Sometimes we didn’t recognize at the time how wonderful those people were. Love is all around us. The ego is the block to our awareness of love’s presence. The idea that there is a perfect person who just hasn’t arrived yet is a major block. Our vulnerability to the myth of “Mr. Right” stems from our glorification of romantic love. The ego uses romantic love for its “special” purposes, leading us to jeopardize our relationships by overvaluing their romantic content.
The difference between a friendship and a romance can be illustrated with the image of a long stemmed rose. The stem is the friendship; the blossom the romance. Because the ego is sensation-oriented, our focus automatically goes to the blossom. But all the nourishment that the blossom needs in order to live reaches it through the stem. The stem might look boring in comparison, but if you take the blossom off the stem it will not last for long."